Bram Teitelman at MetalInsider.net was kind enough to remember that yesterday was Vince Neil's birthday.
Personally, I forgot.
He was also kind enough to use this occasion to provide an insightful, funny and thoroughly researched ranking of Motley Crue's best albums. You should read it, because its awesome.
But, personally, I disagree with Bram. And I felt strongly enough about it to take on the job myself.
(And since I know most of you won't stick around to read this crap. I did it in descending order. You're welcome).
# 1. Too Fast for Love
|Ooh you're gotta get a big looooove touch!|
Because, just like "Every Picture," it is fucking killer.
And, also like "Every Picture," it represents an honest, sometimes rough-around-the-edges account of an artist's best work. Not the most refined, but the best.
And, finally, just like "Every Picture," the artist(s) who created it were about to cultivate such an outrageously buffonish image that it would soon become nearly impossible to ever ensure the reord would get its due respect.
# 2. Shout at the Devil
|We are evil. Your parents will hate us.|
All in all, a very solid output, laying a foundation for a fantastic career, enhanced all the more by hiring a crack commando unit to raid John Carpenter and George Miller's wardrobe departments.
# 3. Dr. Feelgood
|Remember me how I was, not how I am.|
You probably remember that the rest is also awesome.
# 4. Girls Girls Girls
|Elektra bought a bike for every good song on the record|
Move along. Nothing else to see here.
# 5. Motley Crue
|John Corabi: Don't go away mad, just go away|
That record you keep trying to forget is better than most of the ones you keep forcing us to remember!
# 6. Generation Swine
|Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.|
# 7 Saints of Los Angeles
|We are, we are, we are hoping you'll buy this!|
I've been told this album is not all that bad.
I do not believe.
# 8 Theatre of Pain
|Home Sweet Holy Crap This is Awful|
# 9 New Tattoo
|This review is only two words.|